Raising disciplined children

I approach the subject of raising disciplined children as a teacher and student. I am constantly learning new parenting techniques and figuring out the best method to implement in my family. There is absolutely no elitist attitude here! I'll be the first to admit that I'll never arrive at the point of mastery of raising children. I hope to remain at a state of constant learning. It is my goal give you ideas about how to raise children that are well rounded, responsible members of society. This is not an all encompasing article on the subject of parenting.

The first rule is to place Jesus as the head of your life and the center of your family. If you do this, the Holy Spirit will give you all the instruction you will ever need to raise a healthy family. Review, or better yet--memorize, one of our articles entitled 7 Scriptures Every Parent Should Know. However, one of my favorite parenting scriptures is Proverbs 22:6 which reads, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." What you teach them now will remain with them for the rest of their lives. Remain in the word constantly, actively apply it to your life on a daily basis, and maintain a consistent prayer life. 

Notice that in the previous paragraph, I emphasized constant, daily basis and consistent. This is not for dramatic affect. I'm trying to convey how important it is for you to be persistant in your parenting methods. You (and your spouse) must already be or earnestly strive to become unchanging. Your children look up to you and your spouse as moral compasses and behavioral examples. Exemplify the behavior you would like to see in your child and they will be sure to mimic the behavior. Set an example for today and your tomorrow will be that much easier.

Set a firm stance on the important stuff (ie., education, chores, etc.) and stick to it. If your children see that you are willing to bend the rules, they will, most likely, follow them. Plan a meeting with your family discussing all the rules and expectations that you have them. To ensure every topic is covered, sit down with your spouse to create an agenda and goals for the meeting. After the guidelines are established, for them to follow and consequences if they do not choose to follow.

I didn't place the term 'important stuff' in the preceding paragraph as a filler word. To become a good parent and maintain your sanity, it is imparative that you pick and choose your battles. Just because Little Johnny doesn't fold the bed sheets like you do does not mean he is not obeying you. Relax! Little mishaps do not have to turn into WWIII! Don't get into the mode of being so such a disciplinarian that you forget what is important: affirming what your child is doing right. Regularly praise them on accomplishments and you'd be surprised how far he'd/she'd go to repeat that positive behavior. Place little notes in their backpacks or the dresser to let them know how proud of them you are. Give them a big hug just because. Ask their opinion on some household decisions (dinner, weekend activities, etc.). Sit down for dinner at the table and ask how their day was, what their concerns are or talk about something out of the norm (world events, your childhood memories, etc.). The attention given to a child now is priceless to them.

There is no formula for raising disciplined children. Figure out what works for your child and your family. It is never too late. These simple suggestions will make a happier child, happier parent and happier family. 

Share your parenting tips in the comment section.

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7 Scriptures Every Parent Should Know

Luke 18:15-16 (AMP)

Now they were also bringing [even] babies to Him that He might touch them, and when the disciples noticed it, they reproved them. But Jesus called them [the parents] to Him, saying, Allow the little children to come to Me, and do not hinder them, for to such [as these] belongs the kingdom of God.

Joshua 24:15 (AMP)

..But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

1 Timothy 3:4 (AMP)

He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive...

Proverbs 22:6 (AMP)

Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it.

Psalm 127:3 (AMP)

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.

Ephesians 6:4 (AMP)

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

1 Corinthians 13:3-8 (AMP)

Even if I dole out all that I have [to the poor in providing] food, and if I surrender my body to be burned or in order that I may glory, but have not love (God’s love in me), I gain nothing. Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]. As for prophecy (he gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), it will be fulfilled and pass away; as for tongues, they will be destroyed and cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away [it will lose its value and be superseded by truth].

Going Green! Homemade Laundry Detergent

We, as a society, are becoming increasingly aware of the household toxins that plague our homes. Toxins can pose a wide range of negative affects to our bodies some of which are suppressed immune systems, nausea or cancer. We firmly believe that it is imperative for the believer to take authority over all sicknesses and attacks but we have to do our due diligence. TotalLifeProsperity.org has made a shift, as of February of this year, to become more Green. This is no fad for us, it is a way of life. 

The first article in a new series called Going Green is making your own laundry detergent. Commercially produced laundry detergent can obtain many toxins, preservatives, and skin irritants. Not to mention...they are EXPENSIVE! Follow this super easy recipe to make your own laundry detergent. 

Note - I bought all items for less than $15 at Walmart and I project that it'll last me all year. Your costs may vary slightly depending on your location and size of family/usage. 

Items needed:

2/3 bar of soap (Fels Naptha or Ivory-for those with sensitive skin)

1 cup Arm & Hammer washing soda (not baking soda)

1 cup Borax powder
5 gallon bucket with lid
NOTE: All ingredients can be found in the laundry aisle of any supermarket.

Directions:
Place twelve cups of water in a large sauce pan. Turn the heat on the sauce pan to medium heat. Grate the bar soap, add to the warm water, stir until the bar soap is completely dissolved. Pour in the Arm & Hammer Washing Soda and the Borax powder and mix until the mixture is fully dissolved.  Remove the 'sauce' pan from the heat source. Add 3 gallons of water to the bucket and stir. After the soap settles for 24 hours, the laundry detergent may be used. Use 1/2 cup per load. The detergent may have a gelatinous consistency. Be sure to mix thoroughly after it has set. The consistency has no effect on its effectiveness.

Have any Green ideas? Email them to mytotallife@gmail.com and it may be featured in one of our articles!

How to keep your children healthy‏

(The girls and I at Stone Mountain getting some exercise!)

This article is meant for parents who have children that practice a semi-healthy lifestyle as well as those who may be teetering on the brink of an unhealthy lifestyle but are currently healthy. For the families who have overweight children, severely underweight children, or children with any medical condition, consult a physician for an exercise and diet regimen.
I've compiled a list of tips on how to raise healthy children so they'll grow up to be healthy adults.

1. Start early. My daughters recently asked me why they like eating vegetables and other healthy foods more than their friends. Obviously, I'm not in their friends households to know intimate details but I provided them a blanket statement. 'Vegetables were the first solid food you ate so you developed a liking for it.' When they were about four months old and being introduced to solid foods, I started with vegetables. I first introduced green veggies (i.e. green beans), then orange vegetables (i.e. carrots or yams), and finally yellows (i.e. squash). They acquired a taste for veggies because it was their first solid food. I gave it to them regularly EVEN if they spat it out the first couple of times. As I introduced fruits and starches, I kept vegetables as the main course. Fast forward, 7-8 years, we still eat at least one vegetable at every meal. And fruits are a regular in-between-meal snack.

Don't worry if your child is school age or even a teenager. It is never too late to begin practicing a healthier lifestyle. Whatever don't shock your kids by switching from fast food every night to a vegetarian diet. It'll cause tension and unnecessary stress which may lead to them totally writing off your efforts. Be realistic. Start by introducing a vegetable (News flash. Corn is not a vegetable!) at every meal. As they become accustomed to the new foods, eating a well-balanced meal will become more natural with time. Season the vegetables with chicken broth or Asian seasonings to make the flavor of the vegetable more appealing to your family's taste buds. Most kids like the taste of ranch dressing so the addition of a spinach salad drizzled with a little ranch dressing to any meal is quick, easy and nutritious option.

Also, ensure your child is drinking an adequate amount of water. This is especially important if he/she is involved with sports. For pointers on how much water is enough, visit our earlier article about Water Intake.

2. Take vitamins daily. I want to be clear. Vitamins are absolutely not meant to substitute for a healthy diet. Vitamins are supposed to be 'insurance' and a 'supplement' to ensure a healthy immune and digestive system. When I grew up, the only nutritional supplement was Flinstone vitamins. Although, they're still around there are more kid-friendly, tastier options. My kids, for example, like gummy vitamins. Just be sure that the supplements are from a reputable company and do not contain absurd amounts of sugar. Also note that it may behoove you not to cut corners and go to the dollar store to purchase any type of vitamin; especially not children's vitamins. Invest a small amount in your children's supplements now and save on doctor's visits and colds later.

3. Be consistent. During the beginning of the year, we go through the ritual of making 'resolutions' or 'goals'. We have great intentions but we aren't planning for long term success. So how do you ensure you and your family will win? Get organized! There is no way this change won't work if you're not organized. Jot down a list of goals that you wish to obtain from being healthier. Write out a grocery list BEFORE you go to the store. Having a well thought out grocery list will prevent you from spontaneously making unhealthy decisions. Promise yourself that you'll stick to your grocery list or you'll be defeating the purpose of this step. Have a schedule when you get home from work or the kids get home from school to ensure that you'll have time for exercise and preparing a nutritious meal.

4. Set an example. Make a healthy diet and exercise a family affair. Your kids mimic your behavior and eating habits. This lifestyle will only work if you are being honest with yourself and your kids. 'Cheating' at work or once the kids go to sleep will only result in you becoming lax on your new healthy lifestyle and you'll begin making excuses for why you, and ultimately your kids, don't have to stick to it.

Don't just send your kids outside to play...join them! The more they see you becoming ACTIVE and having fun, they'll be more willing to join in. Go for bike rides or invest in some roller blades (including safety gear). This is a low cost super fun activity to do.

5. Visit the pediatrician and dentist regularly. Children ages 4-18 need to complete a physical assessment by their pediatrician regularly. A day or two before their check-up, make a list of any questions or concerns you may have concerning their health.

Your child should visit the dentist at least every six months for a cleaning and cavity check. In between visits to the dentist, practice good oral hygiene. Children should brush their teeth twice a day and floss every day.
 Final Words
The health of your child now will have lasting affects for the rest of their lives...for better or worse. It is my prayer, of course, you and your family is experience the former.