I approach
the subject of raising disciplined children as a teacher and student. I am
constantly learning new parenting techniques and figuring out the best method to implement in my family. There is absolutely no elitist attitude here! I'll be the first to admit that I'll never arrive at the point of
mastery of raising children. I hope to remain at a state of constant learning. It is my goal give you
ideas about how to raise children that are well rounded, responsible members of society. This is not an all encompasing article on the subject of parenting.
The first
rule is to place Jesus as the head of your life and the center of your
family. If you do this, the Holy Spirit will give you all the instruction you will ever need to raise a healthy family. Review, or better yet--memorize, one of our articles entitled 7 Scriptures Every Parent Should Know. However, one of my favorite parenting scriptures is Proverbs 22:6 which reads, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." What you teach them now will remain with them for the rest of their lives. Remain in the word constantly, actively
apply it to your life on a daily basis, and maintain a consistent prayer life.
Notice that in the previous paragraph, I emphasized constant, daily basis and consistent. This is not for dramatic affect. I'm trying to convey how important it is for you to be persistant in your parenting methods. You (and your spouse) must already be or earnestly strive to become unchanging. Your children look up to you and your spouse as moral compasses and behavioral examples. Exemplify the behavior you would like to see in your child and
they will be sure to mimic the behavior. Set an example for today and your
tomorrow will be that much easier.
Set a firm stance on the important stuff (ie., education, chores, etc.) and stick
to it. If your children see that you are willing to bend the rules, they will, most likely, follow
them. Plan a meeting with your family
discussing all the rules and expectations that you have them. To ensure every topic is covered, sit down with your spouse to create an agenda and goals for the meeting. After the guidelines are established, for them to follow and consequences if they do not choose to follow.
I didn't place the term 'important stuff' in the preceding paragraph as a filler word. To become a good parent and maintain your sanity, it is imparative that you pick and choose your battles. Just because Little Johnny doesn't fold the bed sheets like you do does not mean he is not obeying you. Relax! Little mishaps do not have to turn into WWIII! Don't get into the mode
of being so such a disciplinarian that you forget what is important: affirming what your child is doing right. Regularly praise them on accomplishments and you'd be surprised how far he'd/she'd go to repeat that positive behavior. Place little notes in their
backpacks or the dresser to let them know how proud of them you are. Give them a big hug just because. Ask their opinion on some household decisions (dinner, weekend activities, etc.). Sit down for dinner at the table and ask how their day was, what their concerns are or talk about something out of the norm (world events, your childhood memories, etc.). The attention given to a child now is priceless to them.
There is no formula for raising disciplined children. Figure out what works for your child and your family. It is never too late. These simple suggestions will make a happier child, happier parent and happier family.
Share your parenting tips in the comment section.
